What is love : my take on the subject matter

Undoubtedly, there are loads and loads of beautiful woman all over the world. Personally, I don't think that there's a thing as "the most beautiful woman in the world" . Every single lady / woman is in fact beautiful! Perhaps, the only difference is just in the level of available resources to obviously showcase the beauty *smiles*

Back to the matter - what is love? There is no general consensus as to what love is. From religious to secular settings, there are slight differences on what love is. Some have said love is beautiful, love is caring and gentle. The definition is endless! No matter how differing these definitions can be, there's no denying that the feeling that comes with love can be just awesome. It can be " mushy mushy " ( in my friends voice) *smiles*. Perhaps, this has made some people to say that love is wicked especially when they've been disappointed by a loved one...so sad!

There's this unique thing about love and being in love with someone. The physical and emotional expressions sometimes might fail to fully express this. However, everyone is special and everyone has something that really motivates them. When you're in love with someone, may be the person has some kind of effect on you and it is from that effect that my definition will stem from.

These effects can vary. It can be excitement in your inner self. It can be some form of motivation that pushes you to stretch yourself. It can be just laughing so hard! It can be intellectual connectivity and imaginations. It can be anything really! However, If we take every other physical thing aside  ( beauty , accomplishment and money primarily) and smash them to the ground, what motivates you to keep hanging on, holding on, believing in that person and adoring that person is probably love.

That intrinsic "individualised" feeling that remains if every other thing falls apart is probably love. It is probably something real even though intangible that you can relate with and just can't get enough of. Hmmm...now that's love * smiles *

But as I said, it's just my take on the subject. What do you think love is? Please share and let's all get a different perspective of what love is.

Have a lovely week ahead!
With Love
Gpland
xoxo

Skill vs Education

Something interesting happened this week. I visited someone and we all got talking. Their daughter is just 16 years old and wants to go to the university. That's a a typical age (15 -17 years) for most Nigerian students to be done with secondary schools and progress to the University. Then I asked, " what if she takes a year out to learn any skill of her choice?"

 I suggested hair stylist and added that she could add make up, manicure and pedicure to her port folio to make her some sort of all rounded skilled lady. I also suggested that she could go on to learn how to make wigs if she's feeling very excited about it. Well, she could go on to learn any entrepreneurial skill (especially in this Buhari regime...lolz ).

Well, the parents disagreed insisting she goes to school when others are going...Hmmm. Staying away from school for some time might reduce her motivation to study and mental alertness they said. Which is fair enough.

I went ahead to cite different examples of how she could easily pay off her bills from the skill she has acquired while in school and she could go on to transform her skill set into a full blown business. Again, they disagreed. Someone even said, " when you give birth to your children, train them that way so they can get a skill" ...in a sarcastic manner of course and we all laughed. But that's very typical of some people.

By default ( due to the educational system here) , when Nigerian students are done with secondary school ( taking myself as an example and plenty of my friends and people I've met) , they don't have any entrepreneurial skill. Aside from the regular maths, english and the likes, most usually do not have any skill.

There are loads of skills to choose from ; photography, graphic designs, bead making, tailoring, electronics repair, plumbing, carpentry and baking . The list is endless! Acquiring a skill helps create opportunities for one . As a student for example, you can easily get customers from your department  and faculty members. You can easily monetise from the skill and advance your skill set as you progress. You can also transform it to a business ( very important) and can easily create another stream of income for yourself aside from your education.

Taking a year out can be a great way to bridge the gap and acquire a skill. Some might argue that you can acquire a skill while in school. That's a great idea. However, school work can be overwhelming and combining the learning of a skill with school might not go down well. But if you can, why not? Please give it a shot! Yes, learning a skill doesn't mean you won't go to school ( just for clarity)    *smiles*

Alternatively, the summer holidays are a great time to acquire a skill. Each summer  holiday is about 8 weeks long. Parents and children can maximise it to get the best. Combining summer school and skill acquisition isn't a bad idea after all * smiles *

Well, it's just me thinking. What do you think guys (as parents and future parents) ? Skill acquisition and education can go hand in hand as against the regular education that most of us had.

Have a great weekend.

Gpland
xoxo

The Mysterious Perfect Lady

Intellectual connectivity for me  is super romantic. When we talk, it's just wow! Imagine trying  to get a particular radio station. When you finally do, the sound is clear and it feels just perfect! That's exactly how I feel when our intellects are rhythmic and match up, in sync or even complementary! It's super cool!  

I love intelligent conversations *smiles *. We talk of the future with a  positive attitude , businesses with bright ideas coming almost by the second. I mean brilliant beautiful ideas that can make anyone marvel. We talk of a life together, starting small but having the big picture in mind. We talk of practical steps to make these things happen. Things we can do make it happen, I mean practical things to do! Men, this makes me light up!

We believe in ourselves. We believe we are great people and we can achieve our dreams. We support each other to push ourselves just a little bit more. This is just too romantic please!  May be, I have already found her or is it just pure fantasy? Still wondering though. She speaks to my soul, my mind and makes me reason. There's an accompanying joy that comes with all of these of course! This is just too romantic please!  

I would like to be happily married with children. But marriage for me shouldn't be about just having children, having someone manage your home and the very cliché expectations. No doubt, those things and expectations are good . After all, we all want to be loved and cared for. However, I know that there's a higher purpose for marriage.There is! Finding this higher purpose can be revolutionary. Again, it's just me in my fantasy world.

Well, let's raise the bar especially for ourselves. Let's keep an open mind. Never forget to dream and push,   keep pushing to make your dreams come true!

Have a great week ahead!

With love
Gpland

Is English Your First Language?

Is English Your First Language?  

I hate to say this, but anytime I see this question when filling out an online form, I get vexed ( at least to some extent) and if my guess is right, I'm not alone feeling that way. So, cheer up because you're not alone!
Nigeria has several different local languages, which one might refer to as the first language and pidgin which is widely spoken, especially in informal settings. However, for official occasions like schools and offices, English language is spoken. As a result, English language is the Lingua Franca of Nigeria.
I am very fluent in Pidgin English and my local language but I have known and communicated in English all my life. From pre-nursery through primary school, secondary and university education, I have always been taught in English and communicated in same. Sometime ago, a friend of mine asked a question on Facebook : " what language do you think in?" I thought about this for a while and I came up with my answer : I think in English and even my subconscious (including dreams) thinks in English...lolzz. Now, I can say that English is my first language...woohoo!!!
While I was an undergraduate in the UK, I had the opportunity to work with indigenous English speakers of all ages and on several occasions, I had to explain the meaning of different English words to them. This clearly verifies that coming from a country where English is a native language is very different from knowing English for academic purposes and the latter to me is more superior.
Back to the question : Is English your native Language? The way I think of this is: when I go to a remote village or even when I go to buy something from the market, what language will I use to communicate to the seller or a villager, so that communication is achieved? In that respect, English clearly isn't my first language. However, by training one can gain mastery of English language and can demonstrate a high level of competency in English language.This,I suppose is the case for most people in Nigeria and probably other African countries in which English Language is the Lingua Franca.
If I have been educated in English all my life and have demonstrated a high level of competency in English and even schooled in the UK for some years where I clearly was taught and assessed in English, then I guess it is almost  pointless asking this. Especially with schools that require English tests like IELTS and TOEFL,I suggest the list of exceptions have to be addressed to include several exemptions including non-native speakers who have shown a high level of proficiency  in English like most of my Nigerian people. Additionally, writing these English language tests can be relatively expensive.Just maybe, making these tests compulsory for non-native speakers is just good business, just maybe! It probably is a way of screening out some people who would be reluctant to go take an English test or who can't even afford it, despite having demonstrated a high level of competency in English language. Again, the list of exceptions has to be reviewed to include several parties.
Okay...moving on! What annoys me the most is when filling out a form for an opportunity for Nigerians and from Nigeria, and I see this question. This baffles me! You already know English is the official language and we have demonstrated our English capacity via English in WASSCE ( which you will agree with me is quite an English examination). Again, this needs to be addressed.
The challenge most times is probably reluctance ( or laziness) on the part of organisations to look into this matter, especially with the online system, where the computer automatically screens out candidates (according to set criteria).
Organisation should really up their game to give everyone a fair chance and not to screen out qualified candidates just because of some English tests. So, Is English your first language? Now, I'm really worried because I'm not sure what this question is addressing. Does it want to find out if I come from a country where even people from remote villages speak English? Does it want to find out if I'm fluent in the language? If it is the latter, then the need for English tests like IELTS and TOEFL as a requirement has to be addressed. Finally, using English language as a prerequisite should be treated individually and each candidate should be assessed based on what they have already acquired.

Dedicated to all those who have demonstrated great competence in English language and are still asked ; Is English my first language? Personally, the answer is both YES and NO. No, because I am not from a Native English speaking country. Yes, because I am fluent in English and I think in English ( even my subconscious does!). Please, cut us some slack and don't base judgments on some random lazy tests.

Signing out
GPLAND

May Be, Just May Be

 May Be, Just May Be

There we were sitting down and chilling, and just chatting away especially about the exciting games so from the Euros. It felt really great as we bonded especially after a long time. Then, we moved to the nitty-gritty as we talked about life, present plans and future as part of catching up. He told me how he has made progress with his education after so many attempts ( courtesy of JAMB ** only Nigerians would really understand this part **smiles **). How the support from family has been so inspiring and everything was finally falling in place. So I said "I am so happy that everything is working out finally !". 

But then, I asked " don't you think that this time is perhaps the best time for all this to be happening especially with school ?" So, he paused and thought about it for a while. Then he said " yes, this is the best time actually ". He then went further to tell me of how reckless he was some years ago and if schooling had worked out then, may be, just may be, he would have wasted that opportunity and might be struggling now just to graduate. He then acknowledged that he is generally a better person now. He said "my head is now on the ground and I have given up so many crazy lifestyles. I now know what I want and have really simplified my life, doing away with those things that weren't contributing positively to leading a better life. I even had to buy a change of course form as I reflected on my interests, strengths and weaknesses." Wow...I was amazed and still in total shock! But I was really happy that he had reflected over his life and had taken the right steps to get on track. 

Well, sometimes things actually happen for a reason. May be, just may be, if things go that smoothly as anticipated, the end might not be fun?? May be, just may be, you are still struggling because you haven't made the necessary adjustments required for the next phase ?? May be, just may be, the present situation is meant for you to learn and prepare for what is ahead?? May be, just may be , you aren't yet ready for the next phase and would flop if you make that sudden leap without first adjusting?? May be, just may be, it isn't just the right time for what we want to happen?? Just may be, we need to actually reflect upon the pieces of our lives and see if there's a lesson or two to be learned ? May be, Just may be! 

Have a great weekend ahead!!!

Signing out,  

GPLAND 

Sexual Education Part 1: Unwanted Pregnancy, The Onus Is On Us

Oboy, I don't know if people have become too active * winks * (if you know what I mean). The rate at which I see pregnant women these days is scary! May be, it's a great thing for the married people . However, what is more scary is the rate at which teenage pregnancy is occurring these days. It constantly leaves me speechless and I just can't justify it! This leaves me with some questions : what is the role of the parents and the home in this ?  What is society turning into? So, today's topic will duel on Sexual education and I must say that the onus is on us to get the job done! We, as parents, family members ( may be) , aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters...name it, the onus is on us to get the job done!

First, I would like to point out that when we discuss sexual education, some people forget that it is not only for the "girl child" but for the male child as well. It takes the male and female to mate and the rest is history like they say * smiles *. Yes, the girl carries the pregnancy if it gets to that and bears the pains that might come with pregnancy. The boy child, possibly might suffer some shock and psychological trauma ( just may be,  the girl inclusive) . So, I encourage parents to take a holistic approach to the matter of sex education please. How about possible sicknesses that might occur to both the male and female child. So you see, no one is left out...let's protect the lives and future of our children please! Let's do this!

In traditional African society, sexual education might have been perceived as a taboo and parents often shy away from it. Traditional African parents do not feel comfortable talking about sex and educating their children on the subject. For example, in Nigeria, we hear things like ; if a man touches you ( talking to the girl now) you'll get pregnant ( yea...put your hands up if you've ever heard that) . Someone once told me of how she watched the TV and saw people kissing...so she asked her mum about kissing...but her mum cunningly did not answer her. You can't fool the child forever * smiles *

Moving on...ooh this next one...bless me! Some of us in this part of the world are very religious! Yes and sometimes, some people tend to replace common sense with religion and just cover up the matter...yes, sexual education with religion. You hear something like this from parents to children : do not have sex...because the bible is against it for example ( which is absolutely correct!). I know parents want the best for their children, but Just may be, if parents  combine spirituality with science and education in this matter...I think the child will understand better and appreciate it for future days to come.  And please, I am not in any way encouraging sex but merely pointing out that these methods might not be effective for sexual education.

I once heard a lady say that the first time she saw her period she was confused and didn't know what was happening. Now, this is not supposed to be so! How can your child trust his/her friend or an aunt / uncle when it comes to talking about sex or the opposite sex? There is a fundamental problem in the relationship if that is true and that needs to be addressed! First, aside from been a parent, you're also a friend ( a bestie in fact) and a confidant! Common...Your child should be bold to discuss even sensitive matters with you. Although, this might be challenging, but we should at least try and become better parents that we would be proud of ( myself inclusive...of course I'm a parent...in the future * smiles *) .

I read a statement "...hope for the best and plan for the worst ". For parents that are very strict on the subject...best case scenario is probably ..." Do not have sex until you are married ". I can deduce that the worst case scenario is probably ..." have sex and get pregnant for girls ( get someone pregnant for boys) ". So, parents need to plan for the worst I guess and take proactive measures to combat the challenge. So, let's look at the various scenarios that could happen ;  in case the child wants to have sex...just in case,
use a condom? Why use a condom? And consequences of not using a condom.
 Is there any medication that can be taken in case the child doesn't use a condom?
  If the girl is pregnant, give birth to the child? If you want the child to be born, are there any  possible effects of this...on education,learning a trade, skill acquisition, health, psychology? Is this the right thing to do?
 Is there something that can be done to the pregnancy?  If you opt for an abortion, what can be done? How and where can it be done? Is it legal in your country?
So many scenarios can be deduced. Remember, that if as parents you don't educate your children about sexual education, they might learn it from outside and that might not end up well. Let us step up and get the job done at home because the responsibility is on us! The onus is on us!

Please look forward to the  subsequent series on this subject and the beautiful real life stories that I have excluded on purpose for this first part. Remember, to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com. Please share and subscribe to the blog.  Have a great week ahead!

Dedicated to parents and all future parent out there ( myself inclusive)

Signing Out
Gpland

Wedding Gifts, Please Think Again?

Ooh yes, I love weddings! The wonderful display of colours and all the proceeding that follows! The dance part is so cool and all the fun activities too. Though I dislike staying too long for the first part of the occasion which is not the reception * smiles *

I'm super excited and blessed! Still on the forth book for the year and it feels really great reading this one ; The Jewish Phenomenon by Steven Silbiger( please keep an eye for tips from the second and third * smiles *) . If you are really interested in wealth accumulation, then this book is for you! While reading, I have picked up a few new things and I will be dropping one or two things here.

The first thing I would like to share is about gift presentation during weddings. Ooh yes, this is an important session of the ceremony I guess. Especially in a country like Nigeria, where weddings can be a very big celebration. You might invite 100 persons and generously  plan for an additional 50 persons ( making it a total of 150 persons)  for the occasion. However, you'll be surprised to see like 300 persons for the wedding ( though things are changing nowadays and sometimes it is strictly by invite) ...crazy isn't it? Putting all these together, weddings can be expensive...more or less.

So, won't it be nice if people actually go to weddings with the bigger picture of the couple actually living together and making things happen for themselves?  That is , with the mindset of probably helping the couple start of their lives on a good note. I love the way Jews view money and the attitude of Jews towards money both on the macro and micro-economic scale .

On the microeconomic level of the family, Jews' view of money surfaces at wedding time. At traditional Gentile weddings the bride and groom are showered with gifts ranging from crystal to sterling. To Jews, it seems odd for young couples to have all these luxuries with no money in the bank; consequently the most traditional wedding gift to a Jewish couple is cash  ( From the Jewish Phenomenon) .


A gift of money seems impersonal to non Jews,  but in fact it is a very personal gift. It says, in essence , " we care about you enough to give you the option to allocate our gift to your most pressing needs." The couple may need seed money or establish their new household: put together a down payment on a house, buy furniture, pay off accumulated debts. The couple may be starting a new business. They may want to bank it and add to their own nest egg. How many toasters or food processors , refrigerators and the likes do you need? It is a matter of priority ( From the Jewish Phenomenon) .

So, after the wedding...what next? After all the dancing and singing, jumping and clapping and even dining that comes with wedding, what next for the couple? The wedding is only but a step to actual journey of the union. And yes. For the rest of the union, money and it's importance cannot be over emphasised. Please, I know you might want to buy the couple that special thing you've always wanted for them, but you can as well convert it to physical cash or probably some form of investment for them * smiles*. Well, something that can actually add monetary value at hand...just saying. But, it is high time we start considering what we buy for the couple instead of just joining the bandwagon to buy  some gift on your mind.

For Jews, wealth is more than the power to buy things ; it is power itself. Money can overcome the prejudices of most bigots. Money can break down most barriers faster than any pleadings for help. Wealth speaks loud and clear. Some may not like you , but most will accept your money ( From The Jewish Phenomenon) .

Money also meant physical safety and survival. Jews for example over the centuries had used their financial clout to buy special protection from the local power broker, such as row police or king, to protect themselves from the wrath of anti semitic hoodlums (the Nazi experience was a glaring exception where Jews  were unable to buy their  freedom and their lives because Nazi anti semitism overpowered their greed) ...From The Jewish Phenomenon.

I know the next weekend is by the corner and Ruth's wedding might just be by the corner. I suggest you rethink your gift for her and together , let's make her wedding a memorable one! Please share and subscribe to the blog, drop your comments please  and send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Have a great week ahead!

Dedicated to all future couple, family and friends that will grace the occasion.

Signing Out,
Gpland