True life story : lesson on accepting responsibility for your life

True life story : lesson on accepting  responsibility for your life.

After staying in SA for some years, his uncle decided to move to London. A few months after his uncle's relocation, he visited Nigeria. While in Nigeria, he visited his sister and loved one of her sons. He so much loved the boy, that he wanted the boy to start schooling in London where he was based at the time. Admission was secured, international passport ready and everything was moving smoothly except for one "fat but". The uncle in question was a chronic smoker and so was the boy, a smoker too . Trust the typical righteous Nigerian parent...that didn't look good! So, the dad ( the uncles inlaw) objected and blocked every plan that was on going for his son to go study in London where he will supposedly be staying with his uncle.

Several years down the line, the uncle is now settled in Nigeria and is one of the most successful business persons in Rivers State, Nigeria. The uncle and his nephew are still smokers . The boy went on to graduate from Accounting department in the university of Port Harcourt. Another irony, immediately after graduating from school, the boy had another chance to make progress with his life and proceed for his masters and PhD overseas. Again, the family members blocked it because of some reasons they felt weren't right at the time ( details have been withheld please). Only for them to realise, that their initial thoughts were all wrong. Again, he missed that opportunity ! 

Today, as I write, the guy admitted that he's living a shadow of himself. Though plans are under way to land something really great, he still regrets the missed opportunities his family cost him.  He met his uncle the other day and after several minutes of conversation, he reminded him saying : " see what your parents caused for you " while shaking his head. By the way, what his parents tried to do didn't stop him from smoking. 

While you might be tempted to lay blames, I choose to pick out the moral lessons in all this * smiles*

Lessons : 

I love Nigeria! Unlike the UK for example, smoking is a big issue down here. Some people still have this wrong impression for smokers. Some feel that once you're a smoker, especially if you're a young guy / lady, then you probably are a bad boy/girl * smiles *. Though , this might be hard to admit, but this wrong perception of smokers cost that young man opportunities . 

Parents, please don't be foolishly overwhelmed by the love you have for your children. Sit down to properly evaluate and analyse ( you never know besides ). Don't be overwhelmed by what you think would happen. Keep an open mind and always see the big picture and this applies to all of us out there.  

There are so many family ties in Nigeria and while this might be good or bad, it's each and everyone's life and you must live your life. While family members and friends might try to influence your decisions, you must learn to stand up for yourself and to accept responsibility for your life. Please, don't allow what someone thinks about you become your reality. Only you have the power to hold you back and yes, it's your life! So you got to live it...and live it to fulfil your dreams! Don't allow hypocritical and self righteous people "dull your swag" * smiles*. Only you can stop you remember and sometimes, they just can't catch your vision and the vibe no matter how you probably try to...hmm! It's your life finally!  

Again, you can only suggest to people. It's totally up to them to accept what you have said or not. Especially for parents, please don't impose things on your children (especially for the grown ups). The experience might not go down so well . In Senator Ben Bruce voice, I'm only trying to make common sense *smiles * 

Thank God is Friday! Let us head into the weekend with a mindset of accepting responsibility for our life please. 

Finally, I close with this : "Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off " ...General Colin Powell

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