Seek first to understand , then to be understood

Seek first to understand , then to be understood 


I enjoy writing , reading and I can talk too...reasonably * smiles *. We spend almost all our lives communicating. From pre nursery through high school and university , we are taught to read, write and even speak. Hang on, how about listening? I guess a lot of attention isn't paid to listening, even though it is so important to communication.
Almost everything we do revolves around communication. Communication is so central that people can't do without it in fact.

I just finished reading my first book of the year...yay!!! It is the " 7 habits of highly effective people " by Stephen Covey. Probably, quite a number of you must have read it or even heard of it (if not, please do well to get a copy and apply the lessons in there to your life) . One of the habits he talked about in the book was : seek first to understand, then to be understood and he explained the principles of empathetic communication. This experience touched me and hit me so hard as I began to reflect and make adjustments on my communication styles. I began to see that sometimes I just listen to give an answer like many of us are probably doing (how many times do you actually listen to someone without calculating the response to give immediately? ) . I realised that sometimes I have actually listened but still missing in understanding what the person has said. I haven't really connected with them and to know exactly what they meant ( how often do you try to understand the person, to connect emotionally with the person to really understand? ) . Probably, you too are guilty of this.  Sometimes, I think I have got it all worked out and I want the other person to just see it as I've seen it ( crazy right? But you probably are doing the same) . How often do we show empathy when communicating with the next person and " put yourself in the persons shoe to actually feel them ". That way, we are seeking to understand. Once you've understood the person, and can relate to their fears / concerns, then the next step is to make yourself to be understood. Communication is a two way street I guess. That way, you can actually Diagnose Before You Prescribe and everyone is clear about the others needs and hopefully make progress. By applying this singular principle, you can  tremendously improve the way you communicate and this directly leads to developing better relationships in all spheres of lives.

Ooh yes, Thank God is Friday (TGIF) and the weekend is creeping in so fast.  Let's seek to understand and then to be understood even as we go about our activities this weekend. I know, it's going to have a profound positive effect in our lives.
Finally, I close with this : "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said " by Peter Drucker

Please, don't forget to drop your comments and feedback. Please share the stories with your friends and yes, do well to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com for others to be inspired. Have a great weekend ahead!