First Things First

First Things First

"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.” by H.L. Hunt . This statement simply summarises the principle of "first things first ".

Nature's number one principle is probably : first things first. Take having a baby for example. From copulation and sperm deposition  (except otherwise) to conception . Then the mother carries the baby for a period of about 9 months ( more or less) to finally putting to bed. Even when the child is born, first things first applies. From regular care and support from the mother , the child gradually grows. From just carrying, the child grows to crawl, then walk, run and so on. So you see... first things first!  Take growing a crop as another example, you sow the seed, then the seed germinates and grows to maturity before you harvest your plant. First things first! Again, notice the flow...the flow of events all leading to the goal. In the midst of so many distractions and challenges, this principle can bring that kind of flow to what we have set out to do and achieve ( more or less).

As a child growing up, I loved the story of creation from the bible. Thinking about it again, I realised that the principle of "first things first " is just encapsulated in it. I will drop the first 25 verses from Genesis chapter 1 ( the  King James bible ) here ;

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
7 And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.
10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.
14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.
17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.
19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

What a long read * smiles *. We see that even God followed "first things first". The first thing God did( from the story) was to organise and bring structure. So from " without form and void...and darkness ", God created light, form and the heavens and the earth, and put a structure in place. God also divided the land from the waters. He made provisions for  whatever he was going to create before going ahead to create. He created a home for the water creatures and then created them and did same for land creatures and air creatures. First things first!

The principle of first things first deals with priority. It allows one to deal with the primary and to lay the foundations for further development.  It also helps one identify what is important. The challenge is, most times, we spend a great deal of time dealing with urgent things that come up probably from our everyday schedule. Sometimes, it might be urgent but not important. At other times, it can be urgent and also important...and so it goes. My suggestion is to always ask yourself what you really want to achieve and make both short term and long term plans with provisions for flexibility of course, so that urgent but important needs that might arise can always be taken care of. Most importantly, applying this singular principle can bring order and organisation to our lives and allow us to maintain our focus.

Thank God is Friday! I urge all of us to do " first things first " please and stop giving attention to the wrong item on our list. Let's give priority where priority ought to be.

Finally, I close with this :  " What tasks are more important? It’s hard to know when you’re caught up in the flow of things, just doing things left and right, quickly switching between tasks, and so on. Everything seems important. But when we step back and think about what matters most, what will make the most difference in the world and in our lives, we can see what we need to focus on, to make time for. We can’t step back unless we’re aware that we’re getting caught up in less important tasks.” ~ Leo Babauta.

Remember to send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Please share and subscribe to the blog.  Have a great weekend  ahead !

African proverbs part 1: Wisdom

African proverbs part 1: Wisdom 

African proverbs are quite interesting and within its rubrics are wisdom that if properly understood, might just be what you need right now. They can sound so funny though especially if not understood .   As a kid growing up, when I heard some of them, it sounded really funny and makes me wonder ( especially the way Pete Edochie says it for those people familiar with Nollywood) * smiles*

There are different categories of African proverbs and we are going to focus once  some of them that are dealing with wisdom. Wisdom is a principal thing and without an iota of doubt, wisdom is at the centre of almost everything we do if we must succeed! With wisdom, we can all lead better lives and yes, really go all out to become the best person we can ever be. I'm not here to lecture about about wisdom though( for today, that will be for another day) , so I will just go on to write down some of the African proverbs on wisdom and drop a few notes about each . 

I love this! It's a Somalian proverb :Wisdom does not come overnight and this : Nobody is born wise. Yes , wisdom is actually acquired and there are endless possibilities to the acquisition of wisdom. Through books, messages, seminars, lectures and so on , and even hanging out with the right set of people.  Ooh yes, your friends can really influence you. Some will stretch you by challenging your thoughts and dreams, and some might actually just make you  become too comfortable with yourself and that might not end up so well.  

This next one is also lovely as it touches on personal development : If you are filled with pride, then you will have no room for wisdom. It points to the fact that if you're filled with pride and you feel that you know it all, then you probably have closed your mind to learning new things.  Please, nobody knows it all! We can learn something very unique from everybody we come across remember?  

 

This one is a Congolese proverb : Wisdom is like fire. People take it from others. I like this one because it serves as a mirror for personal examination. The way I look at it ; how can you give wisdom when you don't have it yourself? Can you give what you don't have? So this one is a wake up call. It's time to challenge ourselves towards the acquisition of wisdom. So that, out of the abundance of the wisdom you have, you can give somebody some *smiles* . What you have to say might just be what somebody needs to get inspired!  

Again, remember that wisdom is the principal thing. Wisdom is wealth. ~ Swahili. Finally, I close with this : A wise person will always find a way. ~ Tanzanian proverb and Only a wise person can solve a difficult problem. ~ Akan proverb. 

Please remember to send in your stories and also drop some proverbs on wisdom as you  comment. Please share and subscribe to the blog. Have a great week ahead!  

Fruit salad : how has it fared?

Fruit salad : how has it fared?

Diversity is a good thing and beautiful especially in the ideal sense of it. In most advanced nations with solid structures and institutions already in place, diversity can be really enjoyable. Otherwise, diversity can be a major hindrance to development and progress in the other nations in question. There are different kinds of diversity and this includes ; people diversity, viewpoint diversity, idea diversity and so on. However, I am going to concentrate on people's diversity.

In my home country Nigeria ( for example) , there are 36 states which have been split into different geo-political zones. The diversity is quite a lot and from the result so far ( as a nation) , it makes you wonder whether  diversity is good and the beauty of diversity is even applicable to Nigeria. This can be worrying and really baffling! The major challenge amidst this diversity is tribalism and this consequently results to favouritism and ethnicity, more or less.

On the global scene, diversity still has plenty of pitfalls and some  people still have challenges accepting it. I guess it is just an attitude problem probably. In the western world, non acceptance has often translated to racism with its many negative ripple effects. In the US, there has been several instances of police killing innocent black folks and amidst several efforts to combat this challenge, it still happens often now and then. The intimidation on black folks got so bad that it inspired an up rising that gave birth to rap music. Consequently, rap stars have gone on to tell stories of police intimidation on them. Ice Cube is a typical example when he sang : Fuck The Police! ( here's the link , please enjoy : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5fts7bj-so)

In Nigeria, ethnicity and tribalism has almost become the order of the day. In the just concluded elections, the results clearly demonstrates this : the North voted heavily for the All Progressive Congress while the South voted for the People's Democratic Party.  Diversity doesn't seem to work! Quite a lot of issues seems to be associated with diversity in Nigeria.

The Biafran people are currently pushing for separation to become a different country : Biafra. Even if this happens, will it translate into good governance? The challenge even translates into division amongst people from the same state and may be same local government. Even if the division occurs and Biafra comes to realisation, some people have argued that there  will still be division and non acceptance of differences that might exist. Nationally, there are still misconceptions all around the country and this has furthered contributed to the challenge. For example, it is said that : Igbo people like money. Hang on, who doesn't like money? * smiles *. While this might create trust issues among individuals dealing with Igbo people, I would like to point out that there are cunning and untrustworthy people scattered all over the world. So the issue of someone liking money ( or any other generalisation) applies to most ( if not all of us especially when it comes to money) in my opinion. So far...so bad for diversity in Nigeria I guess * smiles *

Perhaps, the issue isn't with diversity  itself. It Probably comes down to  individual attitude and the general orientation we have as individuals. Just may be, diversity isn't meant for every nation? Just may be, the advantages and disadvantages of diversity should be accessed locally. After all, all business is local! However, if a system can be created to put everybody in line, the beauty  of diversity can come to fruition probably. Just may be, if there can be a way to look beyond our differences and focus on what we can do as a team, then the beauty of diversity might just come to fruition. Personally, I quite love the spice that diversity brings to the board . While I absolutely love diversity, I think that if it isn't working, then we could probably look at other alternatives,  to at least limit it's disadvantages and just may be , we could find a silver lining.

Finally, I close with this : " Defeating racism, tribalism, intolerance and all forms of discrimination will liberate us all, victim and perpetrator alike"...Ban Ki-moon. Please remember to send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Please share, subscribe and comment please. Have a great week ahead!  

Fruit salad : lesson on individuality and the beauty of diversity

 I love fruit salads!  Don't know about you * smiles *. The sweetness and several benefits of fruit have been known since antiquity. Quite a number of people all over the world like fruits just like me and consequently make fruit salads I guess.

So please imagine you are about to take your fruit salad ( with your desired fruits of course! ) . You have finished washing your fruits and may be cutting as desired  (all in preparation for getting it ready) . You then put your ready fruits onto a glass visible bowl. Hang on : please don't start eating yet * smiles * . Now,  before you start munching, please take a few seconds to actually look at the fruit salad.

What do you see? Different fruits right? Different colours and shapes too right? Okay, so you can now eat your fruit salad please. As you munch slowly, you begin to feel the sweetness I guess .

Now you see...albeit, the fruits are all different but it turned out well after all. That's how we all are in the world and I could be right to suggest that the world is like a fruit salad perhaps. Different people, different races, different ethnic groups and different individuals most of all! The apple for example didn't say : ooh, I don't like the way the cucumber is shaped. May be the cucumber should have been a little bit rounder...it sounds ridiculous I guess.

Again, irrespective of how different the fruits are, they bring different tastes to the whole mixture. So it is with us as individuals. Different orientation, different view points, different cultures and so on. Understanding people remains a key to human relationships. And yes, just may be, it is our difference, that makes us really interesting. It is that special ingredient that we possess and bring to the board * smiles *.

However, unlike fruits , humans have an immerse ability to develop and always become better. We can always become better individuals in all aspects of our life remember? Yes, you can become a better husband , better dad, better friend , better sister, better ...better...better !

I had the chance to partake in the first diversity day organised by my university. I was amazed at how different cultures around the world are. I especially enjoyed the dance, food and fashion of different countries. I learnt about the crops grown and economic prowess of these nations. It was eye opening! I was amazed! Diversity is indeed beautiful ... you just got to love it please * smiles *

Finally, I close with this : “We are all different, which is great because we are all unique. Without diversity life would be very boring.” — Catherine Pulsifer and “We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.”— Max de Pree

Let us go out there and become better even as we own our individual differences and keep an open mind to what other people are bringing to the table. Remember to send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Please drop your comments, share and subscribe to the blog please. Have a great day ahead!

Not as easy as it seems : leadership

Not as easy as it seems : leadership

Leadership continues to remain a challenge all over the world. Nations, businesses and organisations are always in search for leaders to take them to where to really want to be. Leaders are always in demand, and that is good news!

Leadership is an interesting subject all over the world and somehow, we all have been caught up in this intricate Web of leadership. People  somehow are involved in economic analysis, business analysis and government analysis to mention but a few, and it all boils down to leadership. Ooh yes, it is an interesting subject especially when followers begin to criticise and lay blames especially  on the leaders. Leadership might seem easy from the outside, but it can be very challenging in the real sense of it.  

Leadership positions vary quite a lot and you must not be a manager or a hold a government position to become a leader. In your little corner and home for example you can display great leadership qualities and that makes you a leader ( at least I think so). Leadership qualities are widespread and you probably are doing most of it ; vision, people skills, organisational skills, communication skills and the likes .

Somehow, I have been involved in quite a lot of leadership positions and charged with the responsibility as such in my little ways *smiles* . So yes, I'm going to share my story.

I was the platoon 10 leader during the 2014 National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) batch C orientation camp in Enugu State, Nigeria. As a platoon leader, my primary objective was to organise , encourage and mobilise platoon 10 members to partake in the different activities during the NYSC orientation camp. I had previous experience in organisation and leadership , but this one was a bit challenging. It was a different ball game!  First, I had to deal with several people from different academic backgrounds with different levels of exposure. Some corps members were very willing to corporate , some very reluctant and some did not even care to know what was going on in the platoon.

My first task was to motivate the platoon members and make them realise that together we can achieve great things in the camp, irrespective of whatever challenge we might face. During this time, I worked effectively with fellow corps members, NYSC officials and the military men assigned to the platoon to ensure proper running of the platoon. Next up, I  delegated duties and set up a system of people that would assist in managing the activities of the platoon, and different activity leaders and assistants were elected  consequently. Then, I worked with all the leaders to come up with a feasible practice time-table and ensured that every activity group followed it to their best capacity. With all these in place, there was belief in the platoon, that, yes , this time platoon 10 can be the best.  In the end, the platoon did quite well. Everyone was happy and we set up a What'sapp group for sharing of  useful information amongst ourselves after the camp.

It was quite an experience and an interesting challenging one at that. Dealing with people can be very tricky and empathetic communication skills is at the centre of it all if we must succeed in our various leadership positions. The first thing is to have a vision and then coming up with various short and long term plans to lead you to the final stage of what you and your organisation / business wants to achieve. This needs to be explained vividly to members of the group and please, be open minded.  For someone to have a different opinion from yours , there must be something they are seeing that you aren't seeing right? So, why not try and see through the other person's view points first. Also,  It is important that every member of the group is involved in coming up with a mission statement. Yes, this in itself can serve as a driver and can go a long way to imbibe a good work ethic in the organisation. Again, you must not do everything yourself. Get people involved and make them understand how important they are to the group. People like to know they are important and once you can make them know this, you probably won't have a challenge dealing with them. This is obviously not exhaustive and we can always get more leadership tips online , through books, seminars and lectures as desired.  So yes, let's go out there and become leaders in our various endeavours. Nothing is too small remember?
Finally, I close with this :  "You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand." --Woodrow Wilson.
Remember to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com. Please subscribe , share and invite your friends to join the blog. Have a great week ahead!


 

Still in the spirit of love

So in the spirit of valentine, what could be better than writing about some love story. No...no, my love story * winks*It's the first few weeks of school and we were all just talking about the various pieces of advice we got from home. Someone said something remarkable that day. So many cliché  advices were given to him (as with so many of us;  do study, avoid procrastination and the likes) he said. But one of  his uncles told him something very interesting * someone's ears are tickling I guess *. He said his uncle told him of how much he adored his wife and cares for her. However, when his uncle was in school, there was this girl he always liked. However, he waited too long to make the move and when he finally did (when he felt it was right) , the girl replied saying : you're a great guy no doubt, but I'm already taken so sorry...If only you had come earlier. And the rest is history as they say. He told him that he adores his wife but sometimes, he still wished he married the other girl he had liked from day one.  So, his  uncle finally told him the moral of everything he has said : when you see a girl you like and are confident about it,  do not hesitate to tell her please! Wow...what an advice! Very interesting and unique. That guys story stuck to my head for a very long time * smiles *So...It all happened in the city of Newcastle. Yes Newcastle and I absolutely love that city and Newcastle University. Students moving in from all over the world and  trying to settle down in the university. In the midst of all these, I discovered a Queen, a very rare species , my precious diamond. Meu diamante. Meu amor! There she was, standing with straight lovely legs. Very composed and calm as she went about. Dark and lovely with a beautiful face and yes, a very cute smile with a nice gap tooth that just greets you whenever she talks or smiles ...hmmm! She Spoke so softly and sweet, with this great aura just about her. Her personality is second to none and yes, I could just be in her company all day. I can go all day describing this unique lady * smiles *. She's that great! Trust me, she is! However, everything I've said is just so little compared to how beautiful she truly is. Ooh, she's understanding with tongue graced with wisdom. By now, you obviously know she's mature. She's got her communications skills  right too. This is just too perfect I guess. Ooh no, we disagreed (fought) a few times ..yes, we did! But we always talked about it and resolved our issues. Trust me, we just got better by the day thanks to the little challenges and the little victories we achieved as a team. I can go on and on, but most of all:  we are two people that wants to make our relationship work. To make our relationship better with each passing day. We addressed our issues , supported each other and listened to each others opinion. We had the strength to carry on and the fantasy to have a real relationship! No fooling around I guess. Ooh yes, we are still a work in progress ...thank God!  And every time I remembered how it all happened, I can't just help but smile and say : yes, you took the right decision, probably one of the best dating her Godspower ( trust me, you don't want to know how I asked her out...kind of weird though * smiles * but that's story for another day.  In all these, I realised  something : people are different and have different experiences. But with patience and understanding, we can bring out the best in people and ourselves. Always remember : whenever you see someone you really like and are determined to have them in your life, always give it a shot please . You never know *smiles*. A second can change everything for good just like mine happened. Finally, remember that you owe no man nothing but love. So, as we go about our activities this week, let us treat each other with respect and patience. Let's spread our love people and see how much difference it will make in our lives Have a great week ahead! Remember to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com and please stay in love!

TGIF: WHY MODERN RELATIONSHIPS ARE FALLING APART SO EASILY TODAY :

Quite interesting!  Thought I should share...TGIF!


WHY MODERN RELATIONSHIPS ARE FALLING APART SO EASILY TODAY (By Ankush Bahuguna, Friday, 05 Feb 2016)

Why are relationships so hard today? Why do we fail at love every time, despite trying so hard? Why have humans suddenly become so inept at making relationships last? Have we forgotten how to love? Or worse, forgotten what love is?

We’re not prepared. We’re not prepared for the sacrifices, for the compromises, for the unconditional love. We’re not ready to invest all that it takes to make a relationship work. We want everything easy. We’re quitters. All it takes is a single hurdle to make us crumble to our feet. We don’t let our love grow, we let go before time.

It’s not love we’re looking for, only excitement and thrill in life. We want someone to watch movies and party with, not someone who understands us even in our deepest silences. We spend time together, we don’t make memories. We don’t want the boring life. We don’t want a partner for life, just someone who can make us feel alive right now, this very instant. When the excitement fades, we discover nobody ever prepared us for the mundane. We don’t believe in the beauty of predictability because we’re too blinded by the thrill of adventure.

We immerse ourselves in the inconsequentials of the city life, leaving no space for love. We don’t have time to love, we don’t have the patience to deal with relationships. We’re busy people chasing materialistic dreams and there’s no scope to love. Relationships are nothing more than convenience.

We look for instant gratification in everything we do – the things we post online, the careers we choose, and the people we fall in love with. We want the maturity in a relationship that comes with time, the emotional connect that develops over years, that sense of belonging when we barely even know the other person. Apparently, nothing’s worth our time and patience – not even love.

We’d rather spend an hour each with a hundred people than spending a day with one. We believe in having ‘options’. We’re ‘social’ people. We believe more in meeting people than getting to know them. We’re greedy. We want to have everything. We get into relationships at the slightest attraction and step out, the moment we find someone better. We don’t want to bring out the best in that one person. We want them to be perfect. We date a lot of people but rarely give any of them a real chance. We’re disappointed in everyone.

Technology has brought us closer, so close that it’s impossible to breathe. Our physical presence has been replaced by texts, voice messages, snapchats and video calls. We don’t feel the need to spend time together anymore. We have too much of each other already. There’s nothing left to talk about.

We’re a generation of ‘wanderers’ who wouldn’t stay at one place for too long. Everyone is commitment phobic. We believe we’re not meant for relationships. We don’t want to settle down. Even the thought of it is scary. We cannot imagine being with one person for the rest of our lives. We walk away. We despise permanence like its some social evil. We like to believe we’re ‘different’ than the rest. We like to believe we don’t conform to social norms.

We’re a generation that calls itself ‘sexually liberated’. We can tell sex apart from love, or so we think. We’re the hook-up-break-up generation. We have sex first and then decide if we want to love someone. Sex comes easy, loyalty doesn’t. Getting laid has become the new getting drunk. You do it not because you love the other person, but because you want to feel good. It’s all the temporary fulfillment we need. Sex outside relationships isn’t a taboo anymore. Relationships aren’t that simple anymore. There are open relationships, friends with benefits, causal flings, one-night stands, no strings attached – we’ve left very little exclusivity for love in our lives.

We’re the practical generation who runs by logic alone. We don’t know how to love madly anymore. We wouldn’t take a flight to a far-off land just to see someone we love. We’d break up because, long distance. We’re too sensible for love. Too sensible for our own good.

We’re a scared generation – scared to fall in love, scared to commit, scared to fall, scared to get hurt, scared to get our hearts broken. We don’t allow anyone in, nor do we step out and love anyone unconditionally. We lurk from behind walls we’ve created ourselves, looking for love and running away the moment we really find it. We suddenly ‘cannot handle it’. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We don’t want to bare our soul to anyone. We’re too guarded.

We don’t even value relationships anymore. We let go of the most wonderful people for ‘the other fishes in the sea.’ We don’t consider them sacred anymore.

There’s nothing we couldn’t conquer in this world, and yet, here we are ham-fisted at the game of love – the most basic of human instincts. Evolution, they call it.

Please remember to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com. And yes, get ready for the valentines special edition and please look forward to it . Have a great weekend ahead!

My love for banana : lessons on generalisation and misconceptions

My love for banana : lessons on generalisation and misconceptions

Hutchinsons remains one of my best fruit pick up shops. I absolutely miss those days where I took a stroll just to buy some fruits and bananas are always one of my favourite. Ooh yes...bananas! Some times after buying the banana, I get home and notice that one or two fingers of the banana are going soft, probably due to mishandling. Gently, I take the one or two fingers going bad, and I still have my precious bananas to eat * smiles *

Notice that I  didn't throw away the whole bunch of banana because of one or two bad fingers. That's the right thing to do I guess. However, most of us are probably  throwing away the whole bunch because of just a few bad fingers. Someone is already wondering : what are you saying? That's impossible ! Why would  I throw a whole bunch because of just a few? This sounds really crazy! Very crazy!  But every time we generalise and pre-judge an individual or a group based on previous stories ( whether true or false) , we are simply throwing away the entire bunch because of a few bad ones. So many people around the world have been maltreated because of this singular reason...generalisation!

There are quite a number of generalisations / misconceptions / prejudices around today. Black people are this and that, white people are this and that. Ooh, no wonder, he's from blah...blah , and they have a reputation for blah...blah. Such statements are generalisations!

The first damage generalisation does is that it creates a negative impression of the person. When such prejudice is at work, people can tend to lose their temper, easily get irritated and angry over what they would normally laugh over if it were probably coming from a friend or by just being their normal self. This consequently can lead to deterioration of relationships and potential friendship opportunity. It can even go a long way to hurt the person(s) and the persons  feeling that is now victimised because of the generalisation.

So then, what is the way forward? First, there are good and bad people in every country, state, city and any locality all over the world. So, why not keep an open mind and always treat people on an individual basis rather than generalisations.  That way, you avoid treating people based on assumptions.  You avoid prejudices and misconceptions about the person ( group). Secondly,  the message communicated by generalisation and misconceptions can be ridiculous if we actually take time to think through it. So yes, the next time you meet someone, do away with that previous misconceptions or generalisation and treat them for who they are. Try to understand them and please do not treat them based on that stereotypical message!

Finally I close with this : "I've drawn the conclusion, its all an illusion. Confusion is the name of the game. A misconception, a vast deception,Something got to change" ...Indian Arie quotes

Remember to send in your inspiring stories @ mygpland@gmail.com. Please subscribe, share the stories, drop your comments. Do have a great week ahead!

This is dedicated to all the good people around the world who have been unfairly treated due to generalisations / misconceptions .

# I am a Nigerian, not a criminal #

The lovely Chicken / fowl : lesson on the importance of physical fitness

The lovely Chicken / fowl : lesson on the importance of physical fitness

The other day, I visited an uncle who has a mini poultry in his house, and he gave me this lovely chicken to give to my mum. Ooh yes, I was excited! Super excited!! This chicken was indeed lovely! It is very fleshy , meaty and would sure feel good to eat *smiles*

The chicken can barely move. It is that big! So I probed a little bit more about this chicken and found out that the chicken eats a lot and is not involved in any physical activities as expected! But you know, that is good business for the poultry owners.

As I looked at the chicken , It dawned on me the importance of diet and physical fitness. I know a lot of people are so conscious about weight watch, but I just feel the need to write about it.

Weekends are a great time to relax for most people. The weekends can be filled with different activities ; weddings, child dedications, parties and even just catching up on family and friends . And yes, there's plenty of food to eat and drink most often. Consequently, this leads to an increase in weight with time.

A friend updated his BlackBerry status : feeling fabulous, lost 9 kg in two weeks.  In my usual inquisitive nature, I probed a little bit and I asked : how did you do it? He told me he ate less and walked more in the first week. In the second week, he went on an entirely fruit diet...wow!  He ate mangoes and udaras (Abgalumo/ African star apple / White star apple / African cherry) . That's some ruthless pragmatism to losing weight I thought to myself. And yes, he admitted that it was a bit challenging!

Now you see, that didn't cost much. The best weight loss technique should be the one that you can do from the convenience of your home and doesn't involve a lot of money. Just like my friend, he didn't give the excuse of not having time to hit the gym ( like most of us are doing right now) . He looked around himself and selected easily accessible fruits to help him with the weight loss. He also adopted a technique that fits perfectly into his schedule and is very convenient for him. But most of all, he had the determination and the will to say : yes. I have to shed off some weight!

The importance of maintaining physical fitness ( and I don't mean developing six packs, big biceps and the likes,but if you can...why not? ) cannot be over emphasised. Again, physical activity/ exercise and diet are the key to maintaining physical fitness.  Remember, " make a smart change in your life and establish it as a strong habit FIRST, then move on to another change. And slowly, one change at a time, you will start to lead a MUCH healthier lifestyle" ( from http://www.movemequotes.com/top-21-health-and-fitness-quotes/)
Finally, I close with this :  “When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself, art cannot become manifest, strength cannot be exerted, wealth is useless, and reason is powerless.”  by  Herophiles

Remember to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com and don't forget to drop your comments please. Have a great week ahead!

Seek first to understand , then to be understood

Seek first to understand , then to be understood 


I enjoy writing , reading and I can talk too...reasonably * smiles *. We spend almost all our lives communicating. From pre nursery through high school and university , we are taught to read, write and even speak. Hang on, how about listening? I guess a lot of attention isn't paid to listening, even though it is so important to communication.
Almost everything we do revolves around communication. Communication is so central that people can't do without it in fact.

I just finished reading my first book of the year...yay!!! It is the " 7 habits of highly effective people " by Stephen Covey. Probably, quite a number of you must have read it or even heard of it (if not, please do well to get a copy and apply the lessons in there to your life) . One of the habits he talked about in the book was : seek first to understand, then to be understood and he explained the principles of empathetic communication. This experience touched me and hit me so hard as I began to reflect and make adjustments on my communication styles. I began to see that sometimes I just listen to give an answer like many of us are probably doing (how many times do you actually listen to someone without calculating the response to give immediately? ) . I realised that sometimes I have actually listened but still missing in understanding what the person has said. I haven't really connected with them and to know exactly what they meant ( how often do you try to understand the person, to connect emotionally with the person to really understand? ) . Probably, you too are guilty of this.  Sometimes, I think I have got it all worked out and I want the other person to just see it as I've seen it ( crazy right? But you probably are doing the same) . How often do we show empathy when communicating with the next person and " put yourself in the persons shoe to actually feel them ". That way, we are seeking to understand. Once you've understood the person, and can relate to their fears / concerns, then the next step is to make yourself to be understood. Communication is a two way street I guess. That way, you can actually Diagnose Before You Prescribe and everyone is clear about the others needs and hopefully make progress. By applying this singular principle, you can  tremendously improve the way you communicate and this directly leads to developing better relationships in all spheres of lives.

Ooh yes, Thank God is Friday (TGIF) and the weekend is creeping in so fast.  Let's seek to understand and then to be understood even as we go about our activities this weekend. I know, it's going to have a profound positive effect in our lives.
Finally, I close with this : "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said " by Peter Drucker

Please, don't forget to drop your comments and feedback. Please share the stories with your friends and yes, do well to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com for others to be inspired. Have a great weekend ahead!

Focusing on your circle of influence

There are so many uncertainties in life ranging from may be your present condition to what the future holds for you, and that sometimes can lead to worry. Unfortunately, quite a number of us have been caught up in this Web of worrying , and we just can't help but worry!

Focusing on your circle of influence means focusing on things that you have control over. The easiest example is your time. You decide when to sleep, bath, and so on, except otherwise. Things outside of this circle of influence fall into the circle of concern, things you don't have control over. A very simple but funny example especially in my home country Nigeria is internet services . The network fluctuates so much and sometimes you just don't understand what is wrong with it. We live in a world where almosty everything now runs online -- news, emails, applications, business transactions and so on. Personally, I love the internet and when it happens that I can't access it, especially when I really need it, it can be very annoying! But again, I have no control over it, the network provider does .

Let me share a personal story: after my national youth service ( a one year scheme that is supposed to equip graduates with employability skills and teach graduates the value of diversity, as Nigeria is quite a diverse place ) in Nigeria, I really wanted to create something. I wanted to do something that can impact my society. I came up with brilliant ideas, wrote my business plan, collaborated with like minded people to make it a reality. I even wrote proposals and submitted  to different potential clients seeking for a platform and funds to make the idea a reality. But all to no avail ( for now) .


That experience was so sad because I have the drive , the desire and the personality to pull it off. I really wanted and needed physical cash to make everything gell. I needed the cash to unite every other component of my work and the team I had assembled. It was very disappointing. I didn't have the cash and all attempts to secure funding failed! Wow...what an experience. I didn't give up though...Ooh we will continue this part another day. Back to circle of influence...So yes, I didn't have influence over the finance.
Weeks past and I kept coming up with various great ideas that all required money that I didn't have( but I did well to note them down, and to start them up in the near future) .


So I kept thinking...what will I do that won't cost me much? What can I can do with the resources I have with me and yes, I had quite a lot-- a great family, few great friends , my phone, oh yes, my phone, internet subscription , my book collections, etc...and yes, a great supportive, understanding girl friend( story for another day *smiles*) . So here I am, writing my story and creating a blog to share our stories. Yes our stories...me and you! Each and every one of us have something inspiring about us.


You might not have done something very significant to earn you a TedTalk, but you have something inspiring. That's why I have created this blog...so you and I can share our various inspiring stories. It can be anything...hobby, work, family, education, business, your trial times, your personal victories, your journey so far, your experiences, a book ( that you read) , about a friend,  anything worth sharing and inspiring basically.
Remember, focusing on your circle of influence can be all that you need to do right now. It can be the game changer! Every human is born a complete package and you have something really unique about you. You just need to discover it. That's it!


Finally, I close with this : know your strengths and use them wisely . A man can be worth a thousand soldiers ( from Game of Thrones ). Remember to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com. Privacy policies apply and you can be 100% anonymous if you chose to. Also remember to connect with our blog...yes, our blog, me and you remember? And let's get our stories out there to inspire  someone. Your story. My story. Our story . It can be all that someone needs to give them that extra push... Let's do this!