Sexual Education Part 1: Unwanted Pregnancy, The Onus Is On Us

Oboy, I don't know if people have become too active * winks * (if you know what I mean). The rate at which I see pregnant women these days is scary! May be, it's a great thing for the married people . However, what is more scary is the rate at which teenage pregnancy is occurring these days. It constantly leaves me speechless and I just can't justify it! This leaves me with some questions : what is the role of the parents and the home in this ?  What is society turning into? So, today's topic will duel on Sexual education and I must say that the onus is on us to get the job done! We, as parents, family members ( may be) , aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters...name it, the onus is on us to get the job done!

First, I would like to point out that when we discuss sexual education, some people forget that it is not only for the "girl child" but for the male child as well. It takes the male and female to mate and the rest is history like they say * smiles *. Yes, the girl carries the pregnancy if it gets to that and bears the pains that might come with pregnancy. The boy child, possibly might suffer some shock and psychological trauma ( just may be,  the girl inclusive) . So, I encourage parents to take a holistic approach to the matter of sex education please. How about possible sicknesses that might occur to both the male and female child. So you see, no one is left out...let's protect the lives and future of our children please! Let's do this!

In traditional African society, sexual education might have been perceived as a taboo and parents often shy away from it. Traditional African parents do not feel comfortable talking about sex and educating their children on the subject. For example, in Nigeria, we hear things like ; if a man touches you ( talking to the girl now) you'll get pregnant ( yea...put your hands up if you've ever heard that) . Someone once told me of how she watched the TV and saw people kissing...so she asked her mum about kissing...but her mum cunningly did not answer her. You can't fool the child forever * smiles *

Moving on...ooh this next one...bless me! Some of us in this part of the world are very religious! Yes and sometimes, some people tend to replace common sense with religion and just cover up the matter...yes, sexual education with religion. You hear something like this from parents to children : do not have sex...because the bible is against it for example ( which is absolutely correct!). I know parents want the best for their children, but Just may be, if parents  combine spirituality with science and education in this matter...I think the child will understand better and appreciate it for future days to come.  And please, I am not in any way encouraging sex but merely pointing out that these methods might not be effective for sexual education.

I once heard a lady say that the first time she saw her period she was confused and didn't know what was happening. Now, this is not supposed to be so! How can your child trust his/her friend or an aunt / uncle when it comes to talking about sex or the opposite sex? There is a fundamental problem in the relationship if that is true and that needs to be addressed! First, aside from been a parent, you're also a friend ( a bestie in fact) and a confidant! Common...Your child should be bold to discuss even sensitive matters with you. Although, this might be challenging, but we should at least try and become better parents that we would be proud of ( myself inclusive...of course I'm a parent...in the future * smiles *) .

I read a statement "...hope for the best and plan for the worst ". For parents that are very strict on the subject...best case scenario is probably ..." Do not have sex until you are married ". I can deduce that the worst case scenario is probably ..." have sex and get pregnant for girls ( get someone pregnant for boys) ". So, parents need to plan for the worst I guess and take proactive measures to combat the challenge. So, let's look at the various scenarios that could happen ;  in case the child wants to have sex...just in case,
use a condom? Why use a condom? And consequences of not using a condom.
 Is there any medication that can be taken in case the child doesn't use a condom?
  If the girl is pregnant, give birth to the child? If you want the child to be born, are there any  possible effects of this...on education,learning a trade, skill acquisition, health, psychology? Is this the right thing to do?
 Is there something that can be done to the pregnancy?  If you opt for an abortion, what can be done? How and where can it be done? Is it legal in your country?
So many scenarios can be deduced. Remember, that if as parents you don't educate your children about sexual education, they might learn it from outside and that might not end up well. Let us step up and get the job done at home because the responsibility is on us! The onus is on us!

Please look forward to the  subsequent series on this subject and the beautiful real life stories that I have excluded on purpose for this first part. Remember, to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com. Please share and subscribe to the blog.  Have a great week ahead!

Dedicated to parents and all future parent out there ( myself inclusive)

Signing Out
Gpland

Wedding Gifts, Please Think Again?

Ooh yes, I love weddings! The wonderful display of colours and all the proceeding that follows! The dance part is so cool and all the fun activities too. Though I dislike staying too long for the first part of the occasion which is not the reception * smiles *

I'm super excited and blessed! Still on the forth book for the year and it feels really great reading this one ; The Jewish Phenomenon by Steven Silbiger( please keep an eye for tips from the second and third * smiles *) . If you are really interested in wealth accumulation, then this book is for you! While reading, I have picked up a few new things and I will be dropping one or two things here.

The first thing I would like to share is about gift presentation during weddings. Ooh yes, this is an important session of the ceremony I guess. Especially in a country like Nigeria, where weddings can be a very big celebration. You might invite 100 persons and generously  plan for an additional 50 persons ( making it a total of 150 persons)  for the occasion. However, you'll be surprised to see like 300 persons for the wedding ( though things are changing nowadays and sometimes it is strictly by invite) ...crazy isn't it? Putting all these together, weddings can be expensive...more or less.

So, won't it be nice if people actually go to weddings with the bigger picture of the couple actually living together and making things happen for themselves?  That is , with the mindset of probably helping the couple start of their lives on a good note. I love the way Jews view money and the attitude of Jews towards money both on the macro and micro-economic scale .

On the microeconomic level of the family, Jews' view of money surfaces at wedding time. At traditional Gentile weddings the bride and groom are showered with gifts ranging from crystal to sterling. To Jews, it seems odd for young couples to have all these luxuries with no money in the bank; consequently the most traditional wedding gift to a Jewish couple is cash  ( From the Jewish Phenomenon) .


A gift of money seems impersonal to non Jews,  but in fact it is a very personal gift. It says, in essence , " we care about you enough to give you the option to allocate our gift to your most pressing needs." The couple may need seed money or establish their new household: put together a down payment on a house, buy furniture, pay off accumulated debts. The couple may be starting a new business. They may want to bank it and add to their own nest egg. How many toasters or food processors , refrigerators and the likes do you need? It is a matter of priority ( From the Jewish Phenomenon) .

So, after the wedding...what next? After all the dancing and singing, jumping and clapping and even dining that comes with wedding, what next for the couple? The wedding is only but a step to actual journey of the union. And yes. For the rest of the union, money and it's importance cannot be over emphasised. Please, I know you might want to buy the couple that special thing you've always wanted for them, but you can as well convert it to physical cash or probably some form of investment for them * smiles*. Well, something that can actually add monetary value at hand...just saying. But, it is high time we start considering what we buy for the couple instead of just joining the bandwagon to buy  some gift on your mind.

For Jews, wealth is more than the power to buy things ; it is power itself. Money can overcome the prejudices of most bigots. Money can break down most barriers faster than any pleadings for help. Wealth speaks loud and clear. Some may not like you , but most will accept your money ( From The Jewish Phenomenon) .

Money also meant physical safety and survival. Jews for example over the centuries had used their financial clout to buy special protection from the local power broker, such as row police or king, to protect themselves from the wrath of anti semitic hoodlums (the Nazi experience was a glaring exception where Jews  were unable to buy their  freedom and their lives because Nazi anti semitism overpowered their greed) ...From The Jewish Phenomenon.

I know the next weekend is by the corner and Ruth's wedding might just be by the corner. I suggest you rethink your gift for her and together , let's make her wedding a memorable one! Please share and subscribe to the blog, drop your comments please  and send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Have a great week ahead!

Dedicated to all future couple, family and friends that will grace the occasion.

Signing Out,
Gpland

Gender Equality : Premise

Wow...finally putting pen to paper ( don't know if this is actually correct because I'm typing * smiles *). I have thought about this for a while and that has made me take a break from writing...so it's kind of good..yay!!! 

This is a very interesting topic and a vast one at that. From home to workplace, to the society in general, there are differences in how women and men are viewed, which has translated to what is supposed to be the role of a woman / man, what fits a man / woman and the likes. As a fallacy you might hear people say : ooh a woman/ man is suited for blah ...blah . He / she is not supposed to be this...this. Now I guess you are beginning to get the gist.  

So, we will be exploring different cases of gender inequality that already exists in today's world. I don't know who has bewitched some people in the world with this skewed mentality that one sex/ gender is superior / inferior to the other. We will look at common examples that are already existent coupled with contemporary issues to add colour to the series.  

Sometimes, some people even express this discrimination between gender unconsciously. May be, it has been engraved in some cultures and people just grow up to express them. Well, thank God for education and the many gender equality campaigns that are present and are working so hard to address the matter.  

As a biochemist, I had the  opportunity to study and understand the human genome project. So, scientific explanation of our genes  will in fact be the foundation of this series. We will then progress to addressing discrepancies that exists between the male and female child using the tradition Nigerian society as a case study. Then, we will explore different manifestation of gender inequality in the homes and societal roles while touching on education and exploring different contributions made by both gender. We will also look at capabilities of both sexes to excel and to be successful while also  looking at government, politics and policies.   

Please, look forward to the series! Your contributions are highly welcomed. You can send in contributions, suggestions and your stories and personal experience  at mygpland@gmail.com. Let's do this!  

Finally, I would like to disagree with this statement : "what a man can do, a woman can do better". Well, under the right circumstances and conditions,  the way I see it, it's an individual thing! A man can do as much as a woman...a woman has the capacity to excel as much as a man.

Vera Nazarian said " A woman is human.She is not better, wiser, stronger, more intelligent, more creative, or more responsible than a man. Likewise, she is never less.Equality is a given. A woman is human ." Yes,  a woman has the potential to achieve great things just as the man. It is not about gender but about individuals. It is neither  about the male or female gender .  Individuals make the difference!  Remember, everyone has the capacity to live their dream...don't allow society or cultures hold you back!  

Signing Out 

Gpland 

African Proverbs Part 2 : Learning

Welcome to African Proverbs Part 2...yay!!!  In the first part, we looked at "WISDOM", and  one of the ways we acquire wisdom is through learning. So ,  we will be using African proverbs to talk about learning today...hmm!
Learning is such an important ingredient in life. Just think of it for a minute. From a tender age, we start the process of learning and progress to youths and even the  elderly. We learn words as children, reading and writing...everything, even bathing! Growing up, I remember always bathing only my belly as a kid...*smiles*. This was fun by the way...but now, I'm a man and I can bath properly * smiles *. So you see, learning is an essential ingredient and the way we are programmed as humans, it is almost non optional when it comes to learning.

Learning is the acquisition of knowledge or skills through study, experience, or being taught. Hmm...so if you want to get better, you have to learn. The best part of learning is that you are never too old to learn, to acquire a new skill, to make that shift in your career, to try that stuff you have always wanted to do. Yes, there is absolutely no limit to your abilities to get better!

The first one is a Bugandan proverb that says "by trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree". I like this one! So, practice makes one get better. Consistency and commitment can make all the difference! You have tried it once but it didn't work out so well. How about giving it another shot? How about deciding to make those small adjustments that would allow you get better and achieve your aim. How about coming up with a plan to allow you make those gradual leaps to finally take you to where you want to be? Remember, by trying often the monkey mastered the act of jumping from tree to tree.

That's a cute baby by the way.  Sometimes, learning involves getting the basis right! You learn the alphabets first before the words, you learn simple addition and subtraction before progressing to simultaneous equations and so on. This is typified by this " By crawling a child learns to stand" ~ African proverb. Yes, please get the basis right ( if you must) and build on it to get better. You lay the foundation of the building and go on to build that sky scrapper you so desire. However, without a good foundation, the building might probably collapse. If it means taking some step backwards to get your basis right, please do! That sacrifice will eventually yield benefits. Do not feel you have gone too far to make that adjustment please. Remember, by crawling the child learns how to walk...from walking to running *smiles*.

Hmmm, now this one is very interesting..."If you close your eyes to facts, you will learn through accidents" ~ African proverb. Please, you do not want this to happen to you. In today's world, you cannot afford not to be informed. An uninformed person is literally deformed remember? Get out there, do your research, surf the net, listen to the news and so on. Listen to various programs of interest to enable you get your facts straight. Read books and even explore the social media for more information. You definitely don't want to learn through accidents trust me!

Finally, I close with this : “Think of yourself as a brand. You need to be remembered. What will they remember you for? What defines you? If you have it in you, do something that defines you. Invent something, develop a unique skill, get noticed for something — it creates a talking point.” ― Chris Arnold
There are  too many proverbs out there about learning ! Please, look up some of them ...yes, make Google, other search engines and other  resources your friend. There is always something new to learn remember? Please add some more proverbs about learning as you drop your comments. Share and subscribe to the blog please. Also, send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Have a great week ahead!

Signing out
Gpland

Visions / Revelations Versus Reality and Common Sense ...Part One

Visions / Revelations  Versus Reality and Common Sense ...Part One

Thank God... last week was great! I had the opportunity to meet some interesting persons and heard some real touching stories. Nigeria is a very religious nation I guess. Unfortunately, so many people have resorted to placing so much belief in visions either from pastors, imam , witch doctors and so on  * smiles * . As a result, some people have lived their lives or are living their lives placing visions over faith, over reality, over common sense and over principles. Well, putting it into perspective as it is, over reliance on visions have put so many people's lives in jeopardy, destroyed many relationships, destinies and so on.

Though I am not a great fan of Nollywood, I would use it as a premise to today's topic. Nollywood has done a great job in representing the typical Nigerian take on people's belief in visions. I like the way it has shown different scenario ranging from when someone would receive a message ( may be from a witch doctor or a prophet) that his brother, sister, uncle, dad or any other person is the cause of his/her failures, misfortunes, difficulties or any other scenario. The result is usually a big transfer of aggression and it often doesn't end well * smiles *. We have seen scenarios where daughter inlaws and mother inlaws for example are at war with each other...there are just too many scenarios about visions / revelations and the ripple effects atimes isn't pretty.  Well, someone might say this is just Nollywood...it isn't true after all! 

While some of the visions / revelations might be true, some of them are just ridiculous and doesn't just fit. Let's look at this one and it's a real life story by the way * smiles *. So, a pastor came to this village and was having a program. While he was praying , he said that someone resting his hand on an orange tree now ( he named the area in the village, so people hurriedly came to check and called the guy) , that his brother is the cause of his misfortunes and unemployment....hmmm! 

There was commotion in fact * smiles *. Well, the guy reported this to the family elders and they called for a meeting with his elder brother also present. During the meeting, they started asking intelligent questions like ; have u submitted a CV to any company? Have u talked to people about work? By the way, his brother initially helped him to start a business which he couldn't manage and the family people brought it up during the meeting? And as expected he answered NO to all the questions about job directed at him. So, with no real effort to getting employed from his part, how has the brother hindered his progress or stopped his shine? That vision doesn't just follow through! The "bad" brother in question offered to help should he be willing to make any efforts at achieving something. 

While some of those visions / revelations might be true, my suggestion is that people should at least  be rational. Don't swallow everything thrown at you. Put on your thinking hats please. The challenge is, some people have allowed those visions control their lives and actions, and have resulted to mental laziness by not actually self examining their self. How can you just swallow everything? Some people take some kind of solace in these visions and transfer the blames to someone else ( of course this is usually the easiest thing to do for an intellectual lazy person...just saying).

How can you fail to take charge of your life? How can you fail to grasp project management of your life? Who has bewitched you when you haven't taken actions yourself...I guess this is self destruction. While some of those visions might be true, I will like to remind us that even the children of God don't live by vision but by Faith! So, quite the excuse...and take charge!

Remember, "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be"...by Ralph Waldo Emerson and 

"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month" ...by Theodore Roosevelt

As we go about this new week, let us remember that we are responsible for our lives and not transfer blames to some uncle / aunt and so on. Just take charge...Have faith, work and pray!

Please, remember to send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Please share , subscribe and comment on the blog. Have a great week ahead! 

Signing out 

Gpland 

Character Vs Reputation

Character Vs Reputation

"worry about your character and not your reputation , because your character is who you are white your reputation is only what people think of you"  by John Wooden. 

While agreeing with this popular quote, I would also like to point out a few things about this issue.. Character Vs Reputation.  

It sometimes can be confusing to really draw the line between these two. Sometimes , what people think of you might be different from who you truly are. You might have experienced this in some way or the other...let's take a general everyday scenario that we all might have experienced. While meeting some new friends,

"Hello. please meet so...so.  The other person might be like ; yea, I have heard a lot about you...In someone's mind...okay, this had better be good...hahaha. Well, you can say your reputation proceeds you and it had better be good *smiles*. Now, what the stranger / new guy has perceived about you is your reputation.  

Thank you dictionary! Character is the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing. Character is also an account of the qualities or peculiarities of a person or thing.  Reputation on the other hand is the estimation in which a person or thing is held, especially by the community or the public generally. Again, thank you dictionary! * smiles *

Let me share a true life story please. 

While in the university, he was dating this lady way older than he was. The first day he went to visit her in her office, he was well received and they also had a quickie...* clears throat *.  While he was about leaving she gave him #5000 ( five thousand naira) . Of course, he was happy! While leaving the office, someone was coming to see her. Her EX who though was married, wanted to get her back...hmmm. But as the story goes, while her EX was leaving, he left with one of her phones unknowingly to her. So, the search for the phone was on and this younger uni guy was the prime suspect! Yes, who would think that a well to do EX would take her phone from her office?

Everyone was pointing fingers at the guy and he admitted he had to follow them to go the extra mile to a witch doctors house who after so many incantations, found him innocent. He proved everyone wrong! Initially, she called her EX about it and he denied picking up the phone.  Finally, after the exercise at the witch doctors place and the other guy found innocent, all her thoughts diverted to her EX though with a big  fat doubt! The lady put a call to her EX, this time explaining where she was because of the phone. Then, he admitted that he took it just to get her attention....and so the story goes.  

So, I asked the guy why he went that far to prove his innocence knowing that he was actually innocent? Well, he was angry about the false acquisition and it supposedly seemed obvious that he had the phone. Everyone aware of the issue was pointing fingers at him he said. So, to clear the doubts, he followed them to justify himself. Finally, she apologised to him send made up for the inconveniences caused. Of course. the news spread that he was innocent. Years later, he met the lady...this time she was married and she remembered that singular event and really appreciated his efforts once more. That's what character  can do for you ! She also spoke highly of him as she talked with friends at the function....now, that's a good reputation for him!   

The challenge is that sometimes, there might be a mismatch between your character and reputation. It doesn't just fit or align and in fact, it  might be very different ! So, "A" can sometimes be represented or  perceived as "B".  "A" is the character (kind of) and "B" is the perception.  

Character is who you are! The real you! The traits you posses. The characteristics you have even when no one is looking at you.  Reputation is the representation of who you are. What the outside world feels about you. 

Reputation sometimes might come from what the person might have about you. what people say about you or even the impression you have created on people's mind. Whether this might be good or bad, the good news is : you can always get better in terms of your reputation and this is very important!  

Reputation is your selling point and that might translate into the value placed on you. You might be a very wonderful product inside, but if poorly represented , you'll make no sense and even when you try to, it might just be a shadow of yourself.  On the other hand, if you have a bad product but a good representation, you'll sell I guess! People will buy...more or less ( at least before they discover the rubbish in you *smiles*). So you see...good reputation gives you the opportunity to be truly discovered while a bad reputation might just do the exact opposite...now that isn't pretty for anyone at all! So yes, let's try and build up good characters and also make efforts to have a good reputation. Personal development should be the watchword remember?  

Thank God is Friday . Please, let us apply this in our dealings and seek to get better on that stuff that isn't exactly good. It can be anything like not keeping to time / appointments. Let's think of ways to overcome that challenge that doesn't tell the best stories about our real great self * smiles *. Let us build good virtues and try to showcase the good virtues for the world to see and be positively  affected.   

Remember to send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Please share, subscribe and send in your stories too. Many thanks !

Signing out 

Gpland

The Prodigal Son : Lesson on Self Examination

The Prodigal Son : Lesson on Self Examination

"Judging others is too often escapism dressed in the garb of righteous indignation, whereby I dutifully point out in others that which I probably should be pointing out in myself.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough

Self examination! Hmmm!!! If you judge yourself, then there will probably be no need for someone else to judge you...hmm. Self examination is viewing ones action critically through an imaginary  microscopic lens by oneself. It is taking a step aside to reflect on ones actions and asking oneself some questions : what is going on? how did this happen? what's the way forward? how can this be resolved? how can this be avoided?  what did I really do? What did I set out to do? What worked? What went wrong ? And so on...those questions that one can ask oneself to kind of put oneself on the hot seat * smiles * it is like self policing if you like *smh* 

As a child, I enjoyed the story of the prodigal son from the bible. Lately, as I reflected on the story once more, I realised it was a typical example of self examination. I have dropped a few verses of the parable of the prodigal son here...let's enjoy it please .

Luke 15 from verse 11( king James Version) 

11 And he said, A certain man had two sons: 12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. 13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. 14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. 15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. 17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, 19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. 20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. 21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

*exhales* so the younger son took his share of his father's wealth and went on to foolishly lavish it without saving for the rainy days in summary. But that's the best of it I guess as we now have an opportunity to learn from his wonderful experience *smiles*. After spending all his resources, he met with suffering and literally had a one on one encounter with hardship! However, in the midst of all these, he didn't allow his present condition to overshadow his mind, his sense of reasoning and his problem solving attitude. He was able to sit back and talk to himself. He actually reflected upon his life as he faced reality and approached the matter rationally without pride as he admitted his mistakes with every element of humility at work.  

What a guy! So, after what he just did to his dad, he still has the guts to resolve to go back to his father...wow! In the end, he went back and was ready for the worse! What a courageous guy! I admire him!  

However, it was self examination that made him realise that even servants in his father's house were doing better than he was doing at the time . His sense of reasoning allowed him to weigh the advantages and disadvantages...and he was able to make that final decision and had the courage to follow through. Now, that's what self examination can do for you! Yes, you and me of course!  People can advise you, but you can also advise yourself and in the end, it is You who have the power to accept anything someone has said or implement what you have resolved to do. 

Remember, you have to be sincere with yourself and put away pride in this process of self examination for it to be truly worth it.   

Finally I close with these ; “For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching has become a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong. – Bill W.” and “The only way to make a spoilt machine work again is to break it down, work on its inner system and fix it again. Screw out the bolts of your life, examine and work on yourself, fix your life again and get going.” ― Israelmore Ayivor

Please , let us practise self examination even as we go about our activities for the rest of week. Please, remember to subscribe, share and comment on the blog . Remember to send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com.  

signing out 

Gpland