Sexual Education Part 1: Unwanted Pregnancy, The Onus Is On Us

Oboy, I don't know if people have become too active * winks * (if you know what I mean). The rate at which I see pregnant women these days is scary! May be, it's a great thing for the married people . However, what is more scary is the rate at which teenage pregnancy is occurring these days. It constantly leaves me speechless and I just can't justify it! This leaves me with some questions : what is the role of the parents and the home in this ?  What is society turning into? So, today's topic will duel on Sexual education and I must say that the onus is on us to get the job done! We, as parents, family members ( may be) , aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters...name it, the onus is on us to get the job done!

First, I would like to point out that when we discuss sexual education, some people forget that it is not only for the "girl child" but for the male child as well. It takes the male and female to mate and the rest is history like they say * smiles *. Yes, the girl carries the pregnancy if it gets to that and bears the pains that might come with pregnancy. The boy child, possibly might suffer some shock and psychological trauma ( just may be,  the girl inclusive) . So, I encourage parents to take a holistic approach to the matter of sex education please. How about possible sicknesses that might occur to both the male and female child. So you see, no one is left out...let's protect the lives and future of our children please! Let's do this!

In traditional African society, sexual education might have been perceived as a taboo and parents often shy away from it. Traditional African parents do not feel comfortable talking about sex and educating their children on the subject. For example, in Nigeria, we hear things like ; if a man touches you ( talking to the girl now) you'll get pregnant ( yea...put your hands up if you've ever heard that) . Someone once told me of how she watched the TV and saw people kissing...so she asked her mum about kissing...but her mum cunningly did not answer her. You can't fool the child forever * smiles *

Moving on...ooh this next one...bless me! Some of us in this part of the world are very religious! Yes and sometimes, some people tend to replace common sense with religion and just cover up the matter...yes, sexual education with religion. You hear something like this from parents to children : do not have sex...because the bible is against it for example ( which is absolutely correct!). I know parents want the best for their children, but Just may be, if parents  combine spirituality with science and education in this matter...I think the child will understand better and appreciate it for future days to come.  And please, I am not in any way encouraging sex but merely pointing out that these methods might not be effective for sexual education.

I once heard a lady say that the first time she saw her period she was confused and didn't know what was happening. Now, this is not supposed to be so! How can your child trust his/her friend or an aunt / uncle when it comes to talking about sex or the opposite sex? There is a fundamental problem in the relationship if that is true and that needs to be addressed! First, aside from been a parent, you're also a friend ( a bestie in fact) and a confidant! Common...Your child should be bold to discuss even sensitive matters with you. Although, this might be challenging, but we should at least try and become better parents that we would be proud of ( myself inclusive...of course I'm a parent...in the future * smiles *) .

I read a statement "...hope for the best and plan for the worst ". For parents that are very strict on the subject...best case scenario is probably ..." Do not have sex until you are married ". I can deduce that the worst case scenario is probably ..." have sex and get pregnant for girls ( get someone pregnant for boys) ". So, parents need to plan for the worst I guess and take proactive measures to combat the challenge. So, let's look at the various scenarios that could happen ;  in case the child wants to have sex...just in case,
use a condom? Why use a condom? And consequences of not using a condom.
 Is there any medication that can be taken in case the child doesn't use a condom?
  If the girl is pregnant, give birth to the child? If you want the child to be born, are there any  possible effects of this...on education,learning a trade, skill acquisition, health, psychology? Is this the right thing to do?
 Is there something that can be done to the pregnancy?  If you opt for an abortion, what can be done? How and where can it be done? Is it legal in your country?
So many scenarios can be deduced. Remember, that if as parents you don't educate your children about sexual education, they might learn it from outside and that might not end up well. Let us step up and get the job done at home because the responsibility is on us! The onus is on us!

Please look forward to the  subsequent series on this subject and the beautiful real life stories that I have excluded on purpose for this first part. Remember, to send in your stories @ mygpland@gmail.com. Please share and subscribe to the blog.  Have a great week ahead!

Dedicated to parents and all future parent out there ( myself inclusive)

Signing Out
Gpland

Wedding Gifts, Please Think Again?

Ooh yes, I love weddings! The wonderful display of colours and all the proceeding that follows! The dance part is so cool and all the fun activities too. Though I dislike staying too long for the first part of the occasion which is not the reception * smiles *

I'm super excited and blessed! Still on the forth book for the year and it feels really great reading this one ; The Jewish Phenomenon by Steven Silbiger( please keep an eye for tips from the second and third * smiles *) . If you are really interested in wealth accumulation, then this book is for you! While reading, I have picked up a few new things and I will be dropping one or two things here.

The first thing I would like to share is about gift presentation during weddings. Ooh yes, this is an important session of the ceremony I guess. Especially in a country like Nigeria, where weddings can be a very big celebration. You might invite 100 persons and generously  plan for an additional 50 persons ( making it a total of 150 persons)  for the occasion. However, you'll be surprised to see like 300 persons for the wedding ( though things are changing nowadays and sometimes it is strictly by invite) ...crazy isn't it? Putting all these together, weddings can be expensive...more or less.

So, won't it be nice if people actually go to weddings with the bigger picture of the couple actually living together and making things happen for themselves?  That is , with the mindset of probably helping the couple start of their lives on a good note. I love the way Jews view money and the attitude of Jews towards money both on the macro and micro-economic scale .

On the microeconomic level of the family, Jews' view of money surfaces at wedding time. At traditional Gentile weddings the bride and groom are showered with gifts ranging from crystal to sterling. To Jews, it seems odd for young couples to have all these luxuries with no money in the bank; consequently the most traditional wedding gift to a Jewish couple is cash  ( From the Jewish Phenomenon) .


A gift of money seems impersonal to non Jews,  but in fact it is a very personal gift. It says, in essence , " we care about you enough to give you the option to allocate our gift to your most pressing needs." The couple may need seed money or establish their new household: put together a down payment on a house, buy furniture, pay off accumulated debts. The couple may be starting a new business. They may want to bank it and add to their own nest egg. How many toasters or food processors , refrigerators and the likes do you need? It is a matter of priority ( From the Jewish Phenomenon) .

So, after the wedding...what next? After all the dancing and singing, jumping and clapping and even dining that comes with wedding, what next for the couple? The wedding is only but a step to actual journey of the union. And yes. For the rest of the union, money and it's importance cannot be over emphasised. Please, I know you might want to buy the couple that special thing you've always wanted for them, but you can as well convert it to physical cash or probably some form of investment for them * smiles*. Well, something that can actually add monetary value at hand...just saying. But, it is high time we start considering what we buy for the couple instead of just joining the bandwagon to buy  some gift on your mind.

For Jews, wealth is more than the power to buy things ; it is power itself. Money can overcome the prejudices of most bigots. Money can break down most barriers faster than any pleadings for help. Wealth speaks loud and clear. Some may not like you , but most will accept your money ( From The Jewish Phenomenon) .

Money also meant physical safety and survival. Jews for example over the centuries had used their financial clout to buy special protection from the local power broker, such as row police or king, to protect themselves from the wrath of anti semitic hoodlums (the Nazi experience was a glaring exception where Jews  were unable to buy their  freedom and their lives because Nazi anti semitism overpowered their greed) ...From The Jewish Phenomenon.

I know the next weekend is by the corner and Ruth's wedding might just be by the corner. I suggest you rethink your gift for her and together , let's make her wedding a memorable one! Please share and subscribe to the blog, drop your comments please  and send in your stories at mygpland@gmail.com. Have a great week ahead!

Dedicated to all future couple, family and friends that will grace the occasion.

Signing Out,
Gpland